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Genghis is back. I think. I’ve got another tumour. It’s just by where the first one was and it’s another fast growing one so chances are it’s a local recurrence. The chemo didn’t work.

So now I’m back where I was six months ago. Scans to make sure it hasn’t spread. I hope. Waiting for the pathology report. The double mastectomy has been brought forward and will happen ASAP in the new year. Then more chemo.

The worst bit was the look on the faces of the surgeon and the oncologist. Both were shocked. The surgeon is “concerned” (not very good to hear).

And now the fear that it’s spread.

I’m not doing all that well. I feel in shock. I am on autopilot. I can’t cope with people saying nice things. I don’t really want to talk to anyone. I just want to lie in a dark room in silence.

This is horrid.