One of my biggest fears as a child (and even now, as an adult) was the fear of being left behind. I used to get into a sweat thinking about my parents accidentally driving off without me, or walking ahead and me not being able to keep up, or being at the shops and watching…
DetailsLast night Elliot nabbed one of my sleeping pills to try to ensure a good night’s sleep. Suffice to say, it didn’t work as our darling roguish little boy came in at 5.45 a.m. Worse, Elliot was left with a sleeping pill hangover which he didn’t enjoy. This prompted much laughter on my part as…
DetailsI can’t remember the reason, but there was an occasion at school when some girls in my year got on stage during assembly and performed Gloria Gaynor’s song “I Will Survive”. It might have been when we finished our GCSEs, or when we were leaving school after A Levels. Even before that, the song resonated…
DetailsThere are some people who may find this post offensive. Please forgive me. It is not my intention to offend. But there’s something that’s been on my mind for a while and I have to let it out. It’s about smoking. It’s about the people who smoke. It’s about the people who think that they…
DetailsI’m not usually one to have an issue with Friday 13th. Despite my new open minded approach to spirituality and the like, for me superstition is still just that – superstition – and therefore not of any significance. But the Friday 13th that we have just had really was a bad day. Nothing to do…
DetailsI’m feeling desperately out of sorts this morning – I can’t tell if it’s physical or emotional or both. I have a very anxious feeling in me, yet I feel exhausted at the same time. The logical side of me says that it is a combination of having overdone it yesterday with visitors mixed with…
DetailsLife is too weird. I’ve only just posted my previous entry. One of my school friends who I mentioned messaged me to say she lives on the same road as one of the work friends I mentioned. No way!!!!
Every day I wake up wishing I could be facing a different reality. Some mornings I get half way to the bathroom before I remember. Most days it hits me immediately, and I reach to feel Genghis and check that it hasn’t magically shrunk overnight or, worse still, grown. The reconnection to the reality of…
DetailsAt the start of this week I, along with my family and friends and indeed many strangers who are following my progress, were praying for a good result from my scan. I had the scan a week ago, last Friday evening. I had imagined that this would mean me spending the weekend in fear, frozen,…
DetailsToday is World Cancer Day and Cancer Research UK are using this as a fundraising drive. Research is vital for both current and future cancer patients. This morning I heard about a new vaccine being trialled in the US for triple negative breast cancer. That’s just amazing! It made me cry. So to all my…
DetailsI’ve really tried to avoid thinking about what’s fair and what’s not since my original diagnosis back in June. I’m a big enough girl to know that life isn’t fair and whinging about it doesn’t help and doesn’t achieve anything. But this morning I’ve been hit with a real dose of the blues. I feel…
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