I never thought I would be writing this post at least not yet. A couple of weeks ago we went on holiday en famile. It was supposed to be a family treat to give me strength for facing more surgery in the form of a second lumpectomy and SIRT. Instead, it turned out to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. I seem to have picked up some sort of bug just before or on holiday, which rendered me really low. That, together with the break from chemotherapy, made my resistance to the liver lodgers impossible to deal with. I spent a lot of time feeling very low and lying on the bed in quite a lot of pain and unable to eat very much, with some days being unable to eat very much at all. Not much fun when you’re on holiday to eat and enjoy the lovely Israeli food we had sought out. I also had my first experience in 20 years feeling sick and throwing up on the airplane on the way back – puking twice on the way home. On top of that I needed a wheelchair at either end of the journey to help me through the airport, which was some shock at the beginning of the holiday and a grateful relief at the end.
I came straight back to a consultation with my breast surgeon to discuss the lumpectomy. He was horrified by the way I looked and insisted that if I had not got better within a matter of hours that he would pull me into hospital. He wanted me admitted to get better, if not for the immediate lumpectomy operation then certainly in time for the SIRT a few days later. And that was it.
I have spent the past ten days in hospitals on the edge of London away from home and my darling children, unfortunately declining swiftly. The infection that rendered me low meant that my liver cannot continue to fight the cancer and there is nothing that can be done and I have been told there are now only palliative options for me. I am hoping to get into a hospice soon although it seems to be a one in one out policy for these wonderful places, for obvious reasons. There at least I hope there will be a degree of peace and a pain-free environment there for me. No one will be able to tell me if it is a few days or weeks, but it certainly won’t be long.
I have been deluged with messages of love which have been lovely, overwhelming, thought provoking and very welcome. There have been many comparisons to my blog and other writings on the subject. I don’t want anyone to compare me to anyone else. This blog, “Fighting Genghis”, was never meant to be a competition for admirers or fame and fortune. I have no issues with the words “fight” or “loss of survival” or “die” unlike other people I have known. It was just my story of what I have been going through over the past almost year. Please remember that. Everyone’s journey is different, everyone’s journey is unique. Please remember me and my family. Thank you for reading. Rosie
Rosie what can I say? Your honesty is searing and raw and you are so brave to write these words. I wish you peace and time to be with your loved ones. And as for the fight, you gave it all you got and no one can take that away from you.
Rosie, I have read your blog with admiration and sadness. I hope you are able to find relief from the pain you are clearly in, and hope you and your family find peace in your precious time together. Zoe x
Rosie, you don’t know me, I’m just another Frank Mum, but you have been in my thoughts and in my prayers for a while. I know from personal experience that nothing in this world is meant to last but thank you for the reminder and for all that you have shared with us. Best wishes and much love xxx
Rosie, I have only been following your blog for a short time, but you have touched my life with your strength and bravery. I am so sorry the end is coming way too soon, life is just not fair. Keeping you and your family firmly in my thoughts. Martina xx
So sad for you Rosie and you’re family. You have fought so hard. Thinking if you and your family always .
So sorry, sending love, sunbeams and hugs to you & your family, words fail me with your bravery xx
Rosie, I’ve read your blog many times and found your candour and courage truly inspiring.
I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that, through your brilliant writing, you’ve touched a lot of people, and taught us a lot.
So, thank you.
Much love to you and your family. X
Dear Rosie,
After reading your ‘final post’, my first thought was that you should have been a writer. But, in fact you already are. Your writing is eloquent and beautiful and has captivated many readers. You have asked for us to remember you and your family- you don’t need to ask for that- you may not realise, but you and your family have a special place in all of our hearts xxx
Rosie you are an inspiration it was an honour to have been your friend and you were always in my thoughts over the years and always will be. There are no words I just want to send you big hugs and all my strength. Big kisses to you and your gorgeous family xxxx?
I wish you peace and I wish your family ever lasting health and happiness. Your strength is amazing and your way with words is inspirational and powerful. Sending so much love.
Love, hugs and prayers to you Rosie and your family xxx
On your last weeks of your journey, I bless you with all the Love.
1 Horrible fight, 1 courageous person, 1 Amazing family.
May the light and love be part of you way , may you be able to find peach.
Rosie!
The tears are flowing and the inspiration is huge! Sending all the love and light in the world!
Danielle
Rosie, not sure if you are still looking on CG’s group but we’ve been getting updates and are so sorry that you and your family have been on such a roller coaster these past few weeks and days. You are being thought about, prayed for and encircled in our love, we wish you comfort and peace xx
Wow Rosie you are so brave. I was holding back tears reading this. We did not meet very often due to distance, but I just want you to know that Sue and I are thinking of you, Elliot and the children. MIke (in Cardiff)
You and your family will remain in my thoughts. Much love Xxx
There are no words to express how heartbroken and devasted I am for you and your family. Your blog posts have made me smile and made me cry and have doubtless provided strength and courage to others with this cruel, cruel disease. But what has shone through above all else is how much you love and are loved by others. I hope and pray that such love will carry you and your family through what lies ahead. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Much love x x
Rosie, I have been following your blog and was so sad to read this was your last post. You have been incredibly inspirational. Your one blog, about being the best you can be, is often on my mind and I try to live it as best I can and to pass that message onto my kids. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself.
Rosie you have had such an enormous impact on so many people’s lives. Your writing has touched me and thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts. On a personal and a professional level I hope to be able to understand a little more the journey people with Cancer go on. I wish you comfort and peace on the rest of this journey and be proud in all you have achieved in life. Your children will grow up knowing their mummy made a big impact on many people’s lives x
Even though I don’t “know” you I have followed your fight over the last year and I feel that I do. I am so sad for you and your family and angry that it has come to this. I work for an amazing cancer research charity and your bravery has once again reminded why we do what we do. We will not stop until we beat this awful thing that is cancer. All my love x
Dear Rosie
Thinking of you and your family x
Rosie I am so so sad to be reading this, you have touched so many people more I suspect than you will ever know and I am one of them. I will never forget you and I will miss your posts and I am a complete stranger. You are a really classy lady, and have fought with so much courage. You really have made the world you live in a better place. I hope you can enjoy the time you have with your family without pain and that you can all find peace. Much love Nicola x
I don’t know what to say Rosie, I just want yo wish you strength and peace.
Thank you for sharing your life with us, I find you very inspiring and I take courage from your posts. Thank you for this
Heartfelt best wishes for you my sweet xxx
Rosie , you are indeed an inspiration and a we have learned so much from your words. It is impossible to know what to say except to tell you that your bravery is incredible. We will of course never forget you, indeed I am sure we will be constantly reminded of you. And of course you will live on through your wonderful family.
Dear Rosie, I’m so very sad to read todays blog posting. Although we’ve never met, I was so touched by your writing and followed your journey. Thinking of you and your family x
Rosie, you and your family have a special place in the hearts of all of the FrankMums. I am thinking of you and hoping that whatever happens now you are comfortable and peaceful and able to spend meaningful time with your husband and kids. I know you are surrounded by love from family, friends and even strangers. We have been privileged to be alongside you on this journey. Sending you lots of love. x
Rosie — an amazing lady xx
Rosie
I don’t know you personally but I know of your struggle from your wonderful father in law David who is a work colleague and someone I regard as a dear friend. Your blog has been inspiring, courageous and honest. I was so sorry to hear of the latest developments . Cancer is crap- vicious and indiscriminate. I hope that the knowledge that you have a loving family provides you some comfort in the days ahead .
Rosie, I have never met you but we share mutual friends and experiences. I have been following your blog. Your writing and thoughts have been a light and an inspiration. I think of you and your family often, I will remember you, and I wish you peace. Thank you for sharing a small piece of your light.
Rosie you do not know me I am a friend of your parents and my daughter Eva has been following your blog. Tonight is the first post I have actually read. You are so courageous may Hashem guard you and your family through this time. You have given much to others and brought together many diverse people over the world by your open diary.
We have never met but I have been truly inspired by your blog. Thank you for writing it. Sending immense love to you and your family. Xxx
Dear Rosie,
I know we have only met a couple of times through the JDA but your blog has ensured that I got to know you better online. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am heartbroken for you and your family that it has come to this final post. I wish you love and strength in the weeks ahead and sincerely hope that this blog will be a legacy for all those close to you xxx
Rosie, you have shown tremendous courage and selflessness in sharing your journey so openly and honestly with all of us. You have made a beautiful Kiddush Hashem through your blog, bringing hope and inspiration and reminding us all of what really matters. May Hashem embrace you and your family with blessings and protect you at this time. May He shine His face upon you and bring you peace. Sending much love. You are in our thoughts and prayers x
Rosie …we didn’t get to meet…I wish we had..we nearly did at Penny’s funeral another angel who passed too soon ….I am filled with sadness to read this final post……. may the angels take care of you and your family you brave and beautiful lady…..may your words live in the hearts and minds of many as they do mine xxxxxxx sorry if it all sounds like goodbye but I would like you to hear from me how amazing you are and what an impact your blog has had on my life this last year. Much love you beautiful lady xxxxxxxx
My thoughts are with you and your family, you are an amazing lady and I thank you so very much for sharing – it has made me appreciate even more all the moments with my husband and children – I often look at them and think how much I love them but reading your post makes me realise how lucky I am, We take so much for granted and should not. Rest assured they will remember you and with smiles <3 they will always know you are looking over them, please remember all the special times take care Tx
Rosie, wishing you and your family strength and love. I hope you realise how many people you’ve touched and how many people will remember you and continue to be inspired by your courage and candour. I’ll always be grateful for the advice you gave me re balancing work and home advice and many others have been provided with support thanks to you setting up WWMs. Thanks for being who you are and for sharing that with so many. X
Rosie. I’m deeply sorry to read the latest news. You are Mrs Inspirational and I am privileged to know you. My thoughts are with you all and wish you as much love as possible. I wish you a peaceful journey ahead. I will never forget you. x
Rosie- you are an incredible inspiration, your courage and insight will be a shining light for your children to follow forever. You are truly amazing. X
I wish you much love and a peaceful final journey. xxxx
Rosie, I do not know you either but I can tell what a strong, brave woman you are. What a legacy you will leave. What an inspiration you are. Your family, but especially your children, will be able to remember their mummy with such huge pride and that is a achievement that many people do not EVER reach.
With the kindest of regards, a friend of a friend xxxxxxxxx
My goodness – I stumbled upon your blog just in time, it appears. I don’t know you, but your words have such incredible power. Thank you. I hope your precious time is filled to the brim with true love xxx
So very sorry to read that. Your strength and courage is immense. Lots of love. Xx
Rosie,
I’ve been reading your blog and look forward to receiving emails to say there’s a new one, this one today leaves me feeling so sad. You are amazing, so strong and brave dealing with your diagnosis.
Thinking of you and your family xx
Rosie, your post was one of the first things I saw when I joined the YBCN network. I saw your facebook picture with your children and sent you a personal message about how the hell you get through chemo, have children and continue working at the same the time. You answered immediately, you didn’t know me but your response gave me hope for the hard journey ahead. I then read your blog and it was like reading my own life on a page and I shared it on my public facebook page as my way of ‘coming out’ that I was fighting breast cancer myself. So you see, although I never met you, you have had an absolutely profoundly positive impact on my life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Sonia x
Rosie, we were work colleagues for a few years and I can’t say I know you really well. However, thanks to facebook, I got to meet your beautiful family and I’ve followed Fightinggenghis for a while now. My heart goes out to you and I can only say that I feel privileged to have known you. I’ll always remember you. Vinod Joseph
Rosie, you are such a strong lady!
Your words are full of wisdom and bravey. Your wonderful children natbee and joey are pure treasures and will be ever influenced by your wonderful inspiration and passion!
Rosie = beautiful lady, mother and wife (also employer/friend Sara informs us all)
Rosie have been reading your blog for some months and am deeply proud to be related to you
I keep hearing about cannabis oil being a miracle cure. It kills cancer when other methods fail. Have you tried this? Would you doctors prescribe this perhaps? What is there to lose?
I have just been introduced to you, and all I can say is what an amazing woman you are. Sending lots of love and hugs to you and your family xxx
Lots of love to you and your family, Rosie. I hope your family will move on and prosper in life with joy and success.
Rosie
We were always going to be friends- our love of gin saw to that! But over the last year you have inspired me beyond words with your practical, positive and humorous approach to this horrible debilitating disease. Thank you for your friendship and openness. I miss you here at work and the place is not the same without you. I hope you and your family find some peace. Lots of Love Liz x
Lots of love hugs and prayers you are an inspiration and I am so very sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your bravery
A friend just shared your blog on FB. I’m sat in my office pretending to plan and buy advertising campaigns for my clients here in Manchester. I’ve just read your “final” blog and then started from your first. Got to October 20th 2014 and as the tears began to well, i decided i’d better read the rest when on my own later. Your writing is searingly honest and i wish I’d known you personally.Your wise words will be here always for your children to read and to “hear” your voice. I have my mum’s diary (three years of it) which she wrote whilst undergoing treatment. It brings me huge joy to “hear” her and read some of the funny moments in those last few years and even some of the horrible sad ones which went with the chemo. To know and understand some of the things that make you smile. Your kids will always know what a strong, courageous, vibrant, successful woman, mother, daughter and wife you were They will feel the very essence of you at times when they might need it and feel huge pride in how their mum coped when such a shitty hand was dealt. I hope that gorgeous family of yours make you smile lots more – you desesrve some fun, chocolate and pink champagne.
Rosie, I have just read your blog from start to finish. I got home from my teaching job (in Israel), checked fb, saw 2 links to your blog, sat down & read. You are inspiring, honest, intelligent, kind & funny. That’s without even knowing you. You have touched my heart so deeply; I’m sure I’ll think of you for years to come. . If anyone reads my comment, I would like to know your Jewish name, & your mother’s Jewish name. Together with my students & children, we will pray for you, for your family & we will send you love & hope. xxx
Hi Carrie
Rosie’s Hebrew name is Chaya Rahel bat Masha.
Thank you for your comments
On behalf of Rosie
Thank you. She will be in our prayers. xxx
Rosie, I don’t think we’ve met. I knew you from your high reputation and followed your competition postings when you were at LG. I didn’t realise you knew Chris and my school chum Ben until I recognised your profile on Ben’s Facebook wall and was horrified by what I read. Since then you have genuinely been in my thoughts, perhaps because I lost my mum to it and have young children like you. I saw Ben on Wednesday, I spoke of you and he told me about the holiday. Now comes your latest posting which wipes me out. God speed the hospice which, in my fortnight there with mum, was a wholly different experience, and brought a peace which I would not have thought possible before we got in. Keep strong, and know that many people are thinking of you. Stephen
I send you and family love and peace. A blog that is worthy of so much, and I am sure you are a lady of greatness too. XXX
Rosie, I am privileged to have you in my life and to have enjoyed so many conversations with you personally and professionally. Perhaps the odd glass of wine may have been imbibed along the way after some particularly tough contracts and definitely after the high heel visit to view accelerators :-). My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and also from all of us in Waters Wilmslow who shared many a fun time with you xxxxx
Dear Rosie, you are on a journey to a place so tranquil and so full of Love, your Precious & beloved Family will grieve and it will be hard for when you depart, but know in your Heart, as tears flow as mine are now, yot will only be on the other side and never far apart. Angels are watching over you , children and family too, we will never know why good go and think it’s not fair too. God Bless you. X
Hi Rosie and family
Like many others, I have arrived at your blog late in the day, beginning my journey with you at your final post. I do not know you or have cancer however, I’d like you to know, you are in my thoughts today and will probably be so for many more days. A close friend of mine died 3 years ago from malignant melanoma and left behind a young wife and 15month old little girl. Not a day goes by when he isn’t mentioned, remembered, laughed about or thought about. His daughter knows him too because of this. As a mother myself, I can’t imagine any greater pain than leaving before your children but I’d like to say that you will always be their mummy and you will always be there with them. I hope that this post hasn’t caused you any upset. It wasn’t meant that way. You are a brave lady with little choice in outcome but your honesty, humour and character have decided how you have dealt with it – with courage and dignity. It seems strange telling someone I’ve never met that I will be thinking of them, but I will. Xx
Rosie, words cant express how much your blog has touched us strangers hearts. With the extra candle lit for you tonight, you & your family are in my prayers & thoughts. Xx
May Hashem protect you and your wonderful family.
I am sorry to hear your journey is ending soon. It is so wrong. Please know that your words, and your journey have travelled the world and over in Australia I am reading your words, hearing your experience, and looking at what I can do to ensure my time on this earth has purpose. Thank you for sharing yourself with strangers at this terrible time. I will hug my children tighter, smile and appreciate life more as a result of your words. xxx
Rosie, no eords.
Rosie, you were an extraordinary talented lawyer and we always enjoyed dealing with you at LG. I have thought of you often during this last few years as you fought to stay with Elliot and your kids. Be assured that no matter what the future holds you will always be in their hearts , true love is eternal. I will keep you in my mind and prayers and thank you for sharing just a little part of your life with me. Steohen
This is heartbreaking.i don’t know you but I will be thinking about you and your children. Cancer is such a horrible illness, my mother died two years ago. I can feel my mother is still around me and I know that your children will experience a similar continuation of their relationship with you. Stay strong and think of what a positive difference you have made to this world. Xxx
Thank you for writing such a wonderful blog.
Warm wishes to you and your family for what’s to come.